A Creative's Guide to Deciding What's Important When Everything Seems Important
Have you ever sat down to figure out what’s truly important—what project to focus on, what commitment to say yes to, what to let go of—and somehow walked away feeling more confused than when you started?
Yeah. Me too. And so have most of my clients.
We’re not clueless. We’re smart, thoughtful, capable artists who’ve done the work to name our values, define our mission, tune into our bodies, and imagine our legacy. We know what we care about. And still—we freeze.
It’s not because we don’t know what’s important. It’s because multiple parts of us are holding different definitions of "important."
And they’re all talking at once.
The Real Reason You Can’t Decide: It’s Crowded in There
We all have different parts of ourselves that carry their own fears, desires, perspectives, and strategies. And when we’re making a big decision, those parts don’t always agree.
Each one has a different lens it uses to answer the question: "What matters most right now?"
Understanding those lenses—and the parts behind them—can shift the entire conversation.
12 Internal Parts and Their Decision-Making Lenses
Here are some theoretical examples of the kinds of parts that have shown up for my clients and me, and what their lenses for importance can look like.
You might have some or all or none of these. You’ll have to listen internally to see who’s showing up at your mental conference table.
1. The Aligned Idealist
Lens: Values-Driven Filter
This part asks, “Does this align with my core values and who I want to be?”
It’s deeply committed to integrity and meaning—and terrified you’ll compromise your soul to please someone else.
"We can’t say yes to that gig. It doesn’t align with the kind of artist we are."
2. The Vision Architect
Lens: Future-Self Test
This one zooms out. Way out.
It asks, “What will I wish I’d done five years from now?”
"This grant app is boring, but it could open doors that lead to the future we keep talking about."
3. The Energy Strategist
Lens: Effort/Impact Thinking
This part wants efficiency. It’s tired. It’s practical. It’s doing the math.
"That podcast rebrand sounds cool, but it’s 40 hours of work and very little payoff. Let’s finish the EP first."
4. The Fearful Guardian
Lens: Pain-Avoidance
This one’s all about protection. It’s whispering worst-case scenarios and trying to keep you from being embarrassed, rejected, or depleted.
"Just stick with what’s worked before. Don’t risk looking stupid."
5. The Desire-Led Dreamer
Lens: Desire-Based Motivation
This one doesn’t care about practicalities. It cares about what feels delicious.
"I know it’s not strategic. I just want to do it. It lights me up."
6. The Somatic Compass
Lens: Body-Based Knowing
This part doesn’t use words. It uses sensations.
"My chest tightens when I imagine saying yes. My shoulders drop when I imagine canceling. The body already knows."
7. The External Realist
Lens: External Constraints
This one is tracking time, money, and logistics. It keeps the wheels turning and the bills paid.
"Sure, writing that play sounds great. But rent’s due. We need to finish this commission first."
8. The Legacy Holder
Lens: The Long Arc
This part holds the big picture. It’s less about the next step and more about the whole story.
"If this were the last year of our life, would we want to spend it doing this?"
9. The Pattern Watcher
Lens: Timing / Seasonality
This part is tuned into rhythms—both internal and external. It wants to know whether the timing is right, based on cycles of energy, creativity, and opportunity.
"This idea is great, but it’s not the right season. Let’s save it for when we’re in an input phase again."
10. The Data Analyst
Lens: Evidence-Based Prioritization
This one looks at results, trends, and measurable outcomes. It wants to know what’s actually moving the needle—creatively, energetically, or practically.
"We’ve tried this approach three times and it keeps leading to burnout. Let’s learn from that and do it differently this round."
11. The Connection Seeker
Lens: Relational Impact
This part prioritizes relationships and community health. It’s tracking how your choices ripple outward to others.
"If we ghost on this collaborator again, we’re going to burn a bridge we care about."
12. The Firestarter
Lens: Emotional/Moral Urgency
This one reacts to what's happening in the world—or in your emotional life—with urgency and fire. It’s focused on what feels morally or emotionally necessary right now.
"We can't sit this one out. Our voice matters in this moment. The art can wait."
So… Which One Is Right?
All of them. And none of them.
Each part is trying to protect something important. Each one has wisdom. But none of them can see the full picture alone. (That’s your job.)
When you’re stuck in indecision, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means there’s a negotiation happening inside you—and no one’s been given the floor long enough to explain their point of view.
What to Do Instead of Forcing a Decision
Try this step-by-step process to move from inner chaos to clarity—especially when you’re staring at a list of ten important-seeming things and need to figure out which ones actually deserve your focus right now:
Name the decision.
Write down what you’re trying to choose between. Be specific. “Which of these five projects should I start this month?” is more helpful than “What should I do with my life?”
List the contenders.
Write down every task, opportunity, or project currently trying to claim your energy. Don’t judge—just list.
Invite the parts.
Take a breath. Imagine you’re calling a meeting with the different voices inside you. Ask: “What does each part of me think I should prioritize?”
For each item on your list, note which part is championing it—and why.
Do your best to listen for the parts that often get talked over or elbowed out by the loudest and most familiar ones.
Identify their lenses.
For each part, ask: “What framework is this part using to decide what matters?” (Values? Future goals? Energy levels? Fear? Urgency?)
Try some of the prioritization tools from last week’s post to help each part gain more clarity.
Get curious, not combative.
Even the parts that seem unhelpful are trying to do something for you. Ask them what they’re protecting, what they’re afraid of, and what they ultimately want for you.
Ask what each part needs.
Sometimes a part just needs to know you understand it.
Sometimes a part just needs recognition.
Sometimes a part just needs a reassurance or a boundary. ("We’ll do the risky thing—but we’ll prep first." Or: “We’ll rest before we commit.”)
Step into Self.
This is an Internal Family Systems term for your calm, curious, wise inner leader—the one who can listen to everyone and make an integrated choice.
Let the Self Integrate the Full Picture
By this point, your internal parts have already done the heavy lifting. Each one has used its preferred lens to make a case—some focusing on impact, others on alignment with values, energy costs, urgency, or joy. They’ve laid all the data out on the table from their unique perspectives.
Now it’s the Self’s turn—not to choose one lens, but to step back and look at the full mosaic. Integration is its superpower.
Self asks:
“Where’s the sweet spot where multiple parts can feel heard?”
“Is there a choice that honors what matters in the long run and supports our current reality?”
“What’s the next step that builds trust across the whole system?”
Self’s lens is wholeness. It listens deeply, zooms out, and makes a call not from urgency or fear—but from spacious clarity and grounded care.
Choose the next right thing.
You don’t have to decide forever. You just need to choose the thing that moves you forward right now, in a way your whole internal system can live with.
Debrief afterward.
After taking action, reflect. Which parts felt relieved? Which got anxious? Use that information to fine-tune future decisions.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about building internal trust. The more often your parts feel heard and led with care, the more clarity you’ll have the next time the list gets long.
Be Careful: The Peacekeeper Isn’t the Self
There’s one more part that often shows up in this process, especially for creatives who hate inner conflict: the Peacekeeper.
Sometimes folks mistake the Peacekeeper for the Self because it’s willing to listen to and sympathize with all of its fellow Parts. But the Peacekeeper is also a master of manipulating other parts into sacrificing growth, wholeness, better opportunities, more fulfillment, etc. in order to have what’s most important according to its lens: a perception of quiet, calm, ease, and safety. (Little does it know that having to repress feelings and needs is the opposite of safety.)
When the Peacekeeper starts jumping in, you might find yourself…
Avoiding decisions that feel disruptive, even if they’re exciting or growth-oriented.
Settling for the option that causes the least resistance, not the most resonance.
Feeling like any choice that leaves one part frustrated must be the wrong choice.
Defaulting to “meh” projects that feel safe and neutral, but not aligned or energizing.
Feeling a sudden urge to sleep, scroll, snack, etc. in order to avoid or shut down any uncomfortable inner dialogue.
The Peacekeeper thinks success is all Parts agreeing on all choices. Self knows the inner family does at times have to agree on things in order to function, but Self also knows that only ever doing what’s agreed upon means none of the parts get the opportunity to be the unique, wonderful beings they are.
Self knows there’s a balance to be found between group needs and individual needs.
How to work with the Peacekeeper
Thank it. Let it know you see how hard it’s working to create harmony—and that you value that.
Remind it what you’re doing. “We’re listening deeply to all the parts and making a decision that holds the whole system, not just the loudest voice.”
Reframe discomfort. Sometimes discomfort is a sign you’re actually growing. Let the Peacekeeper know you can tolerate disagreement.
Invite it into a new role. Ask if it would be willing to help you mediate rather than over-accommodate. Its calm presence might be just what your other parts need in the negotiation.
Not every part will agree 100% every time. That’s okay.
Decisions made from Self don’t always feel peaceful at first—but they often lead to deeper alignment in the long run.
Final Thought
You’re not flaky. You’re not indecisive. You’re just a rich, layered human with a beautifully complex internal world.
And when all those parts are yelling? You don’t need to shut them down. You just need to listen—and lead.
Which of your parts tend to be the loudest or most controlling when you’re making decisions? Which ones tend to get left out or spoken over? Share in the comments for some camaraderie.
Know someone who might find this post helpful? Feel free to share.
And in case you missed it, check out last week’s related post:
Prioritization for Creatives: Why It’s So Hard (and What to Do About It)
One of the biggest things my clients wrestle with is figuring out what to focus on when everything sounds exciting. The to-do list is full of ideas that light them up—but they’re not just choosing between artistic dreams. They’re also trying to figure out where creativity fits in the middle of errands, work deadlines, emotional labor, and the sheer chao…
Thank you for this, Jess. I love how you write about parts and the ways they impact our creative lives. Bringing them all to the table, listening deeply, and working with them when making a decision is something I wish I’d known about much earlier in my life! My favorite aha? The Peacemaker! That part of me is afraid of conflict and often shows up as Self. Your suggestion to ask her to be a mediator is one I will try next time I bring all my parts to the table to make a decision.